LUCKY13
In the course of any project like this where you are looking for definition in the midst of ambiguity, or trudging towards self discovery, eventually you hope to attain some of that clarity. Or meet a terribly attractive nerd who also enjoys surfing and discussing marketing strategy. Lucky, was that guy. Nearing 10 dates in this shenanigan with a gamut of different men, hope grows dim that guys that are the whole package do indeed still exist. Dating outside the realm of college is so much more involved than, “Is he cute? What’s his major? How much pot does he smoke?” Now if he’s attractive, does he have a job? If he makes enough money, does he have hobbies? If his hobby isn’t getting plastered on the weekend, can he carry on an intelligent conversation? UGH. WHERE DOES IT END??
That phenomenon when you meet someone and things “just click”? I love it when that happens. Whether friendships or romances those occurrences seem few and far between, but when I have found my people I’ve been able to love deep and learn hard. The most significant thing that Lucky taught me was that it always seems that you find incredible people when you aren’t looking for them. I love those moments in time where things just seem to effortlessly fall into place, even if its briefly.
This was a turning point for me where I realized that I have moved on from the ex. After months of aggravating back and forth and slowly weening him off of the past, I met Lucky over Labor Day weekend. The Monday after I returned I called the ex and gently asked him not to contact me any more. At that the time I didn’t know if there was any sort of romantic future with Lucky. Irregardless just the idea of something was enough for me to finally close that chapter so that I could fully immerse myself in the next.
Time has a funky way of working, or not working I suppose. Lucky and I had actually known each other for over a year by the time Labor Day came around. During that time one or both of us had been unavailable and circumstances to interact hadn’t really presented itself. Our first date was on Friday the 13th after a week and a half of flirty banter where I fell deep in smit with the boy. Being happy was simple with him. He put me at ease, made me laugh, and let me be my full on awkward self all the time.
Lucky is that guy you hope to find when you decide to go on 20 first dates. He’s the one that you stop these kinds of excursions for, which is why for about six weeks he was the only one I was seeing. Also why when I found out he was imminently moving out of state it was simultaneously good and disappointing news. I mean, this way if after a couple of weeks I found him completely intolerable, then he was gone! On the flip side if he turned out to be my knight in shiny whatever, well shit.
So we went on all the perfect dates where we ate delicious food, tried new tequila, roasted s’mores, laid on the beach, insert all other cliche and wonderful activities here. But then he moved and what do you do when a guy like that moves? Well I’ll tell you: You continue to talk to him everyday because it feels natural and it makes you happy. Go on other dates and wish it was him instead. Against better judgement you go out to see him because, why not? (Because your heart lives in your vagina, stupid.) Hope that maybe this time you will find him irrefutably annoying and unattractive. Pretend to be annoyed when you are actually elated that you feel the opposite of this and wonder what the hell to do with yourself. Contemplate for a hot second whether you could live in a land locked state to see where this goes. Talk yourself in circles about how ridiculous you are. Find all rational people in your life telling you that going after it, is not so ridiculous. Resolve to try and be content with the current state and hope for some cosmic sign of what should happen next. He casually opens the door to the conversation. Maybe inadvertently. You take the leap and send your feelings via email. Met with indecision, confusion, and feelings. The issue rests. Battle with the fact that (time spent together) < (feelings), and it makes no sense to you. Impatient nature takes over and you press the conversation yet again. (Curse the plague of having the incessant need to KNOW things.) Endure a couple of days of meticulously checking email to be met with a response that you thought you had been prepared to receive. Realize you were not. Hurt after being e-dumped for all intents and purposes.
Without a doubt I did not expect to meet someone like Lucky nor could I have predicted that he would rattle my view of relationships.
More of what I learned at a later time.
13 reasons you fall in deep smit with someone:
- They design a website and geek out implementing a soft scroll.
- You make s’mores over a fire on a first date you didn’t know was a first date. Then make out over said fire.
- Perfect day: hike, burritos, beach.
- They use shouty capitals and make you not hate smiley faces in texts. 🙂
- Simultaneously fill the buckets of friend, lover, activity buddy, and person I watch all the YouTube videos with.
- A really great ass.
- They can teach you things about coffee and bikes.
- When you feel like you fit perfectly in their arms.
- Let you put your cold feet on them to keep you warm.
- When they become your person, the day doesn’t seem quite complete unless you’ve talked to them. Or sent you a cat photo.
- He takes you somewhere they serve pizza AND popcorn, and comments on the menu font.
- They make you playlists with custom album art so… Lucky Playlist > every mix tape ever.
- Weekend excursions which make you feel like long distance is a small price to pay for a certain kind of happy.